We’ve arrived at the end of another week, and I’m delighted that I get to share with you all some more of my fibromyalgia insights. I have to say, this condition has taught me an infinite number of lessons (truly, more than I could ever recall for the sake of blogging). And even when I think I’ve got a good handle on a particular lesson, life always gives me the opportunity to attain a new level of depth and comprehension.
This past week, I got to revisit a lesson on boundaries. When managing chronic illness, boundaries are especially important, both to prevent overwhelm and to manage overwhelm when it occurs. If you haven’t practiced saying enthusiastic yeses and firm, confident nos, you may find that this isn’t an easy thing to do. But mastering this skill is vital, because one of the biggest pain culprits is overextending ourselves and being under a ton of stress. Effective boundaries can reduce or eliminate stress and make it easier to avoid or manage flares.
I did a video all about this topic: you can find it below:
If you’re unclear about what boundaries are, and how to deploy them effectively, the book Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud is a great place to start. This book drastically changed how I viewed yes and no in the context of all relationships, including the relationship I have with myself. I highly recommend it!
That’s it for Fibro Friday. Please continue to take care of yourselves, and I’ll talk to you all soon!
I just finished a few books recently, and now I’m on to the next set of books to read!
I hope that this new month has been treating you all well. I had a difficult time with my health recently (more about that on Friday) and I decided to lean into more enjoyable, restorative activities to help with that. One of my favorite activities for restoring my energy is reading. Recently, I completed a few books: first, I reread, Write It Down, Make It Happen by Dr. Henriette Anne Klauser. I’m considering doing another review on this, since I had some new revelations while reading it. Secondly, I reread How To Think Like Leonardo da Vinci by Michael J. Gelb (it seems that March was a good month to reread some of my favorites!). This one I’ll definitely do another review on, since I honestly felt like I was reading it for the first time: it’s been so long since I read this one, and I got so many great takeaways this time! And, as you all know, I finished True Gifts by Jewel Veitch last month, too (I reviewed it here).
Over on my YouTube, I listed the books I’m reading in April. This week, I’ll be finishing up Where The Forest Meets The Stars by Glendy Vanderah. I’ll also be diving into Take Care of Your Type – An Enneagram Guide to Self Care by Christina S. Wilcox. I’m curious about how I can leverage the enneagram to improve my life, so this should be an interesting book to read. I’ll also be reading The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively by Gary Chapman. As the parent of a pre-teen, I’m always looking for ways to deepen and strengthen our communication and connection, and I am a fan of Chapman’s work, so it’ll be great to see what strategies I can try with my child. Finally, I’ll be reading Pause, Rest, Be – Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of Change by Octavia F. Raheem. The author led a rest practice during ExodUS Summit 2023, and I was very impressed by the exercise. I’ll be replaying the rest practice at least once while I read the book.
Anyhoo, here is the video summarizing my reading list:
What are you reading this month? I’d love to hear what books you’re enjoying right now.
Last summer, I did a short visit to Edinburgh, Scotland. I regret that I didn’t have more time to enjoy this exquisite city, but I take the brevity of my trip as a fantastic reason to return at some point in the near future.
I stayed at the Kimpton Charlotte Square, a luxury hotel located near the Royal Botanic Garden and the National Galleries of Scotland. Because the hotel is located in the city center, it’s very easy to get to a lot of different attractions, and it’s impossible to get bored in this incredible city.
I was greeted by a warm and friendly staff: certainly the warmest and friendliest of any that I encountered in the UK. I was given a tour of the hotel, as well as an overview of the amenities included with my stay. I settled into my room then explored the grounds. The interior design of this hotel is stunning: it’s both traditional and eclectic at once. It seems like the dazzling displays would compete with one another, but the decorations are cohesive and aesthetically pleasing. Somehow, it all just goes together.
Many times, after a long trip, I find myself hungry, but not yet ready for a full meal. Imagine my surprise when I saw that my room was stocked with complimentary snacks, as well as a massive list of all the items that the hotel could either give or loan to you in case you need them (think phone chargers, humidifiers, rubber bathmats, yoga mats, etc.,). It was an absolutely perfect touch that I expect from a luxury hotel but, alas, many miss the mark on this.
My stay included the breakfast buffet, which was not only convenient but delicious. There was also the cocktail hour (available to all guests) which was lively and social. Upon looking at the Kimpton Charlotte Square website, I see that visitors can opt for half board (breakfast and dinner) at the hotel, which is exactly what I’ll do when I return.
I’m not sure if my affection for Edinburgh was founded strictly on my Kimpton Charlotte Square experience, but I can certainly vouch for the fact that any trip to this magical city would be made better by a stay at this hotel. As a little tip I learned through my research, the peak (read: priciest) times to travel are the summer months and the Christmas/New Year period. Any other time of the year will give you the same lovely experience but for a lower cost.
While you’re at the Kimpton Charlotte Square, be sure to walk a few blocks to the Scotch Malt Whisky Society. This whisky lounge is charming and gives you a great excuse to come out and learn more about uisge-beatha (the Scottish Gaelic word for whisky, that literally translates to, ‘water of life’).
Have you been to Edinburgh? If not, is Scotland on your travel list? I’d love to know more in the comments below. I’ll talk to you all soon!
Despite going to the Caribbean several times, I missed several islands. As a person that hates to leave things unfinished, I knew I’d have to return to some of those islands I missed. St Lucia had been on my list of places to go for years, but I never had the opportunity- that is, until last spring. One of my dear friends planned a self care getaway, and the location she chose was The Body Holiday in St Lucia. As a self care proponent, I happily booked my own room and made my plans to journey with her.
The Body Holiday is a luxurious, all inclusive hotel and spa. The biggest perk of going here is probably the location: the island was sunny and beautiful almost each day while I was there. Aside from the location, there were many fantastic reasons to stay there. With every booked stay, The Body Holiday offers daily spa treatments, such as massages, facials, and the like.* You can choose one treatment per day or, if you want to splurge, you can add on as many treatments as your schedule will allow. In addition to the treatments, there are numerous fitness classes, all taught by excellent instructors.
The spa area
*The spa is located on a path that cannot be accessed if you are wheelchair bound or if you use mobility aids. So if you cannot maneuver easily, then you may need to see if you can have the masseuse or estheticians come to your room to complete your treatments. I’m not sure if this is available, but it’s certainly worth asking about.
Here are some pictures of my room:
Now, you may be more like me: you want self care but sweating it out in an aerobic class isn’t it. Fortunately, The Body Holiday is a great option if you want to lounge and luxuriate only: the resort has a pristine private beach where you can relax and forget all of your troubles. Now, here’s where I bring up the first (of only two) drawback: sand fleas nearly ate me alive. Of course, I laid on the beach like the sun bum I am. However, I’ve never been bitten by mites before (most of the beaches I’ve enjoyed were more temperate climates: these insects live in more tropical locales), so I didn’t realize how much bug repellant was necessary. Also, I saw plenty of birds, lizards and frogs: you’d think the insect population would be kept in check. But I guess the critters are no match for the bugs. The mosquitoes had a field day with me as well, but those were somewhat expected and the effect of those bites were much briefer. It took a couple of weeks for the itching to subside and a while longer for the discoloration to fade. This isn’t the resort’s fault: I should have done more research on which insects are the most prevalent and how to counteract them (pro traveler tip: definitely research local pests before traveling!)
Now onto one of the most fun parts of the trip: the food! Delicious, freshly prepared food was available every day. While I couldn’t eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted (I always seemed to want a smoothie about 10 minutes after the smoothie stand closed), there were always some incredible dining options daily. I loved that the resort focuses on healthy food, but if you want to indulge with something more, well, indulgent, that was also available. I had some incredible desserts, exquisite entrees, and tasty, nourishing snacks. I ate well and felt amazing. There are time limits on when you can enjoy the resort’s cuisine: most of the options were closed before midnight. The nighttime cutoff only applied to food: the bars stayed open later. Since the resort was all inclusive, there were many wines, whiskeys and cocktails available to guests. I got to enjoy many Old Fashioneds, as well as some good wine, and a few of the resort’s special frozen fruit cocktails.
There was live music and entertainment every night, though it pretty much all wrapped up around 1 AM. I spent quite a few hours at the piano bar, flipping through sheet music books and chatting up the people around me. If you wanted to enjoy more of the island, the resort was a brief distance from some of the major social areas, including an area known for fantastic street parties. Also, there was a nearby rainforest where visitors can zipline or do whatever else people do in rainforests (clearly, I didn’t go).
I saw the rainforest, as well as some of the neighborhoods, on my way to and from the resort. My ride to and from The Body Holiday is my second (sort of) drawback to mention: the resort is nowhere near the airport. It’s roughly one hour between these two points, assuming that there are no traffic delays. You can arrange your transportation before you arrive, which is what I did. Also, it’s possible to get a cab once you land, but I’d caution against that. I can’t think of anything more dreadful than assuming you can just grab a taxi and finding out that every one of them is occupied and that you’ll have to wait more than 30 minutes for a ride. It’s unlikely, but certainly not impossible.
Although the resort is all inclusive, this does not include a gratuity, so remeber to budget for that. Otherwise, everything was indeed included, and the only thing better than the value you get for this trip is the service. Everyone was friendly, accommodating and professional. I truly enjoyed interacting with the staff and getting to know some of them better. The concierge’s desk is open 24 hours, so it’s easy to resolve whatever issues may come up. Each room is equipped with wi-fi, and the turn down service is such a treat!
My Body Holiday experience was dreamy: I can’t wait to return!
I can’t believe it’s the first day of spring already! It feels like New Years Day happened just a couple of weeks ago. The time is moving quickly, and, quite honestly, I wish things would slow down a bit. That’s not my normal opinion, by the way: I’m a summer baby so I always greet the spring season happily, as I know it will quickly give way to my favorite time of year. But this year, because my life has been especially hectic and not going exactly as planned, I find myself yearning for an extension of the winter season. I would love just a few more weeks to transition into springtime at a pace that works better for me.
In any case, my time-controlling powers have not yet kicked in, so today remains the vernal equinox. While I wish for a little more winter, I am delighted to be closer to the warm, sunny days I crave. I have been eager to do a proper garden project, and this will be my year to do it. I’ve reviewed the Old Farmer’s Almanac website to see which plants I need to start this month. I’ll also be taking a few visits to Home Depot, Lowe’s, Southern States, and any other garden shop that can help me get a solid start.
Part of my garden planning is thinking of a theme. It’s a lot easier for me to wrap my mind around what I want to grow if I can see that it all works harmoniously together. I’m thinking I’ll stick to lilies for this year: day lilies, true lilies, lily of the valley, and canna lilies (my favorite, calla lilies, don’t do well in my hardiness zone, so I’ll skip these for now). I’m envisioning lily of the valley hanging over my balcony, with the rest of the lilies on the sunniest side of my home. I’ll probably also add another rose bush or two, as well as planting another jasmine plant and peony plant to give more volume to the jasmine and peony plants I currently have.
I’ll keep you posted as my garden project comes together. I’m particularly excited for this year’s garden, as I’m hoping that being in the yard will help me savor the spring and feel like time is moving a bit slower. . . As I think about it, maybe time isn’t moving faster: maybe it’s me that needs to slow down. I can make slower, more intentional movement and activity a priority, and I think that will make the difference for me.
That’s it for today. I’ll talk to you all soon, and Happy Vernal Equinox!
Last year, there was a huge TikTok trend that promoted Al Rehab’s Choco Musk perfume as the IT fragrance for the IT girls. I never enjoyed being a slave to trends, so I usually avoid them like the plague. However, my YouTube channel features a ton of fragrance reviews, so I figured I’d learn more about Al Rehab and figure out what’s the big deal with their perfumes. I had to know for myself: are Al Rehab scents worth trying?
As it turns out, Al Rehab is a company under the Al Rashad parent brand based in Ohio. According to the Al Rashad website, the Al Rehab perfumes are sourced from UAE, Saudi Arabia and Yemen. The products feature both concentrated oil (alcohol free) formulations, as well as denatured alcohol in the spray formulas. The sprays are determined to be halal (approved for use by Muslim customers). The company has a wide range of scents in both spray and rollerball dispensers. I checked the Al Rashad website, as well as Amazon and Fragrantica, to see reviews and fragrance notes for some of the most popular scents available through the Al Rehab brand. Most of the reviews were overwhelming positive, and the fragrance notes had me intrigued.
After doing a far more exhaustive than expected level of research, I purchased several scents from the line. I got 5 fragrances: Dalal, Dehn Al Oud, Musk Rose, Sabaya and Soft. I purchased three of them – Dalal, Dehn Al Oud and Sabaya – in a gift set, but the set is no longer available (it is still possible to purchase them, just separately). You may have noted that Choco Musk was not one of my purchases: while I thought it could be a nice fragrance to have in my rotation, I wasn’t convinced that I wanted to wear such a popular scent right now. Also, I’m a little picky about my gourmand fragrances: anything too “sweet” smelling tends to annoy me. So I decided to focus on the scents that seemed to fit my typical preferences, and I’ll review Choco Musk on another day.
I wore each of these fragrances and, though the scents vary wildly in their notes, I did notice a few things that each of Al Rehab’s perfumes had in common:
Insanely affordable. Each of the perfumes I bought were from Amazon, and they cost less than $8 each. In fact, the price of the trio gift set (Dalal, Dehn Al Oud and Sabaya) averaged out to $4 USD per roller ball. The “priciest” of the fragrances I bought was Soft at $5.20 USD! On the Al Rashad website, the prices are similar, landing somewhere between $5 USD and $8 USD per fragrance. I didn’t do the all of the math to compare these perfume prices to some of the other “bargain” perfumes I’ve tried (comparing cost per ounce seemed specious, especially once you read the next bullet point). But, as far as the costs of getting new fragrances goes, the financial investment is quite low.
Minimal product application needed. Since these scents are concentrated, I used a light hand to apply them, and I could easily smell the various top, mid and base notes of the fragrance while wearing them. Sometimes, when I purchase a “bargain” perfume, I have to apply liberally or pair with other products (like companion body washes, oils or lotions) in order to get a “sense” of the fragrance. That is not necessary with Al Rehab: dabbing a bit on the pulse points is sufficient to experience the complexities of the perfume. Which leads to my next point . . .
Lovely sillage. These fragrances will get compliments, even when applied lightly. You don’t have to ask anyone, “How do I smell?”: if they aren’t congested, they will pick up on your fragrance easily. Consider this when applying: you may want to use significantly less if you’re going to the office or any other space where heavy perfume is not encouraged. For what it’s worth, the scents themselves aren’t “heavy”, but a heavy application can take them from lovely and fairly perceptible to bold and impossible to ignore. But what good is great sillage on its own? The sillage is always best when it’s paired with . . .
Incredible wear time. Full disclosure: while each of these scents can be purchased as a spray, I chose to do the concentrated rollerball dispenser for each. I wanted to ensure that the dispensers and, hopefully, the formulation, for the perfumes were fairly equal. I applied these in the morning and could easily smell them 8 to 12 hours later. NONE of these scents faded on me. I don’t consider myself someone that struggles to keep a fragrance vivid on my skin; however, there have been times where I applied a lovely perfume that has completely vanished within 4 or 6 hours. I generally expect about 1 hour of wear time for every $20 USD I spend on a fragrance. If I purchase a perfume for $100 USD, I expect to be able to detect it on my hair, clothing and (hopefully!) my skin in 4 or 5 hours. If I spend more, I expect the scent to last longer. For scents that are less than $20 USD per bottle, I fully expect that I will need to reapply every hour or so. Imagine my surprise when these $5(!) scents lasted all day. I wish other perfumers would take notes!
So, I’m back to the question I posed earlier: are Al Rehab’s perfumes live up to the hype? I can confidently say “YES!” I’m still in awe of how the company manages to offer such lovely, high-performing scents for such a nominal cost. In any case, I won’t look the gift horse in the mouth: I’m thankful for Al Rehab, and I won’t question how they do it! My most recent video is a review of Al Rehab’s Soft: you can check it out here. I’ve also embedded the video below. If you are interested in the other four reviews, they are linked in the cards as well as below the embedded video:
Instead of making lengthy posts about every single thing I did in 2023, I decided I should just give you a high level overview of each month, and save the long posts for some of the highlights. Without further ado, here’s my 2023:
January – I went to see “Wicked” for the first time, and I started tinkering with generative AI. My prompts are so much better than they used to be. I made time for self care, and enjoyed the beginning of the year.
March – I did First Friday at the Library of Virginia, and I volunteered behind the scenes with a local aerial arts company. My daughter performed in the aerial production of Alice in Wonderland.
April – I turned my attention to my yard: spring had sprung, and I needed to identify what was growing wild outside. I started experimenting with cashew cheese recipes, and we officially celebrated the end of “Alice in Wonderland” season with a cast party. At the end of the month, we did a quick getaway to Tysons Corner VA, where my daughter enjoyed a day at American Girl Place.
May – I continued to improve my generative AI prompting, and planned for my end-of-the month trip. I spent a week in St Lucia, sunning and getting eaten alive by the sand mites. The trip to St Lucia will be its own post, because the location was heavenly and the accommodations were perfection.
June – My jasmine bush bloomed, and all was right with the world. I attended a gala event for a local nonprofit, and had a fantastic time. The rest of my flowers started to bloom, and I was on cloud 9! This was the first year that my hydrangea bush had blooms, so it was an especially exciting season!
July – I tried some new (to me) perfumes, and spent a fun day with friends in DC. And, I went to London and Edinburgh! These cities deserve their own set of posts, so look out for those soon.
August – My birthday month! No travel, but I did have a great dinner with someone special. I also visited the Mansion at O Street museum in Washington DC with one of my friends.
September – Besame Cosmetics launched the Ella Fitzgerald collection, and I was too excited to try it. I ended the month in New York City, tooling around at the Museum of Modern Art, The Brandy Library, and Patent Pending (this too will be its own post).
October – A trip to Atlanta was just what I needed as the weather started to turn from warm to cool. I went to the Highland Games, which included a whisky tasting and the Tartan Ball. FWIW I did not wear a tartan, but I did have a splendid time.
November – I did the highland games in central Virginia, because Scottish events in my backyard cannot be missed! I returned to London for a week, and had an amazing time.
December – A quiet month: the perfect way to end a busy year.
And that’s my 2023 in a nutshell! Look out for some longer posts in the near future, with LOTS more pictures and some fun ideas for how to best experience some of the places I went. Take care, and I’ll talk to you all soon!
More style chat! I’m still doing a deep dive into the Four Essence System as developed by Rita (of Style Thoughts by Rita).
The video I’m referencing for this post describes four tools within the system. These tools are used to clarify where individuals fall within the system, by interpreting who they are, how they look and their style process. The third tool of the system (tool 1 and tool 2 have their own posts) is style logic, which examines the style process itself. The logic portion of the video starts around 5:10.
Rita mentions style logic, specifically, how you think about style. So I decided to personalize this, and ask myself how I think about style.
This touches on my, “process for shopping, putting outfits together, and getting dressed”. This is all about how the effort involved with shopping and styling myself show up in the real world. If I enjoy complicated, almost ritualistic approaches to shopping and styling myself, then laid-back clothing is a fundamental mismatch. Likewise, if I prefer quick, uncomplicated, casual shopping and styling, then formal, effort-ful ensembles won’t match my energy.
According to Rita, Right Essence has “Inspiration from outside; a conceptual approach”. Meanwhile, the Up Essence highlights “Emphasis on external impact, and deliberate, lookbook approach”. The result of combining Right and Up is “Situation-focused, Conceptual, Deliberate”. As someone who has a Right-Up Essence, my style logic needs to have a good bit of effort, some ritual, and an intentional effect when completed. I’m fortunate: my style logic matches my clothing and styling approach (for the most part). Even my casual clothing tends to look like I’ve put a good deal of effort into it (because I have!) I select my clothing, makeup and hairstyle with care, and it shows, even when I’m dressed down a bit.
Alternatively, understanding my style logic can help me determine when I’m choosing clothing and styling options that do not match my essence. I’ve actually found myself hurriedly getting dressed, and realizing that my ensemble falls flat because it needs a little extra effort. So I’ll reach for an accessory or two, a more elegant pair of shoes, or even a striking coat, to give my outfit the polish it needs to look like I put more effort into it. If it looks like it took me only a few minutes to get ready, then that’s my cue that I need to do MORE, if I want to look like my Right Up self. When I do less, I noticed that no one comments on how good my casual-chic outfit looks (even if I took 45 minutes to tousle my hair or to look less formal and more chill), but when I look like put in just a bit more effort (even if it only took me 15 minutes, it should LOOK like it took me an hour or two), everyone I see will mention how great I look (go figure!)
Understanding your style logic goes a long way in determining whether you’re in harmony with your essence. I’m thankful for this great explanation of style logic – and the other tools – as used within the Four Essence System!
Hey everyone! Happy October to you all. It’s time for a writing update, because I haven’t been posting regularly on Wednesdays during this period of increased editing activities.
I’m happy to share that I’m still on target to reach my November publishing goal (as I explained in this post). I’ve finished all of my major edits, and I’m letting the book “sit” undisturbed while I tool around with making a cover and as I consider adding images within the body of the book. This is probably my favorite part of publishing, because it gives me a break from searching for the right word, and it causes me to turn my attention to the aesthetics of the book.
In a couple of weeks, I’ll give my book another once over, probably reading it aloud to see if the words flow easily, as well as add any additional thoughts that I think will help best convey my ideas. Until I resume editing, I’ll be considering my book marketing approach and seeing if I want to promote the book through traditional means, or opt for a more passive, organic approach. I’m not sure yet, but I’ll see where inspiration leads me and make my decision based on that. Following inspiration may seem like a silly way to go about determining how I want to sell this book, but I’ve found that TRUE inspiration has always led me to the right path. So I’ll go with that and let things unfold as they will.
That’s it for the September update: short and somewhat sweet. I’ll talk to you all soon!
Happy Writers Wednesday! Today, I’m sharing the book that I’m reading for the next couple of weeks, and I’m already looking forward to giving you my review in the near future.
I’m looking forward to gleaning some tips that I can share over here, and finding ideas that I can incorporate into my own plan for financial freedom. While I’ve made some great choices over the past few years, I’m always refining and adjusting my plan to better suit my current and future circumstances.
In my opinion, your plans for financial freedom should be a living document (for lack of better verbiage). These should evolve, grow and adjust as you mature and discover things about yourself. So, learning what a later-executed plan looks like is a great idea, as even those that prepared well for older age may find that they need to pivot and make drastic changes at any point.
That’s it for today’s post. If you’re familiar with David Bach’s work, I’d love to hear your thoughts below. Other than that, I look forward to chatting with you all tomorrow. Take care!
Bronze Butterfly 