life curation · writing

Writers Wednesdays – When The Last Chapter Is Elusive . . .

I don’t know if this has happened to any of my fellow authors out there, but I seem to have a dilemma every time I write. It doesn’t matter whether I’m writing fiction or nonfiction, short story or novel, lengthy instructions or a brief booklet.

The problem is this: I usually don’t know how to end things.

Yes, I’ll write, and write, and write, and write, happily breezing through the middle portion of a work-in-progress. I may have a little challenge with the opening chapters, but at some point, a brilliant (or so I think) way of introducing my book comes to me. Sometimes, I’ll even write something “out of order”, just so that I can capture the ideas that are already in my mind, bypassing all of the stuff that needs more time. It all sounds great when I’m in the “flow”. But then, I get to the end of the book, and I have a hard time wrapping things up.

You can probably even see my difficulty with “ending things” here on the blog. I enjoy sharing my world and telling you all about what I’m loving at the moment. So when I get to the end of the post, I often don’t know what to say. How do you bring proper “closure” to anything when you aren’t really ready to say goodbye? (On a side note, this is a recurring theme in my life, so the deep dive into this is necessary on multiple levels. Back to the conversation at hand . . . )

I think my reluctance to write the last chapter of any of my works in progress comes down to the inability to say goodbye easily. I never want the fun to end, or to part ways with something that I enjoy. So, ending a book – especially books where I absolutely adore the main and supporting characters – is like losing a good friend. Yes, I can always allow the characters to have more adventures by writing secondary books, but something about that first work with a set of characters is just . . . special. It’s as beautiful as a first kiss, or seeing the sunrise for the first time. Nothing compares to it.

I long to freeze those beautiful moments and never let them go. But alas, the only constant in life is change, and even the best works-in-progress do me no good if I don’t eventually write a suitable end for them, so that those books can eventually be read and loved by others. So, my challenge is to learn to let go and to give my books the beautiful endings that they deserve.

I have my work cut out for me in the next few weeks. For the works-in-progress that I have now, I’m concentrating on just writing the endings, even if I hate what I’ve written. The goal isn’t to make the ending perfect, but to just GET IT DONE, so that I can edit it later and make it better. The children’s books are easy: they’re formulaic, so the same ending is used repeatedly but just tweaked a bit here and there. But the novels and self-help/personal development books I’m working on definitely need an ending that is befitting. However, I won’t get to those perfect endings until I write imperfect endings first.

For future works, maybe I should try writing the endings first. I recall that there was a story (told second- or third-hand) about a person visiting actor Will Smith, who had the plot for a movie written out onto a bunch of index cards that he arranged on a storyboard. According to the person telling the story, Smith said that the easiest part of the story was the end, because he always started there, and basically reverse-engineered the story until he had the middle and beginning parts.

I think that writing the ending of a book before writing anything else would be a good exercise for me, even though I’ve traditionally disliked writing this part. Perhaps my comfort with endings will grow if I focus on making those as special and beautiful as the rest of the story will be . . . Hmm, it’s a thought.

Have you ever had a difficult time coming up with the ending of a book you’ve written, or in any other written work? I’d love to hear how you grew past that challenge in the comments below!

beauty · hollywood glamour · life curation · luxury · relaxation

Review: The Harlem Candle Company

Happy Tuesday!

I love candles. I’ve never reviewed candles here on this blog, but I have quite a collection. It’s funny: something that is such a BIG part of my daily relaxation routine has never been featured here before. But, then again, I didn’t have any candles that completely resonated with my essence.

Until now. Recently, I came across some candles on the page of one of my Facebook friends. I’d intended to invest in more luxury candles, but other than Diptyque and The Clean Candle Company (I did a review of their candles here), I was stumped over which candle to purchase next. I’d planned to try Trudon’s Josephine candle, but the company has consistently sold out of the size I wanted to purchase. And so it goes: fate conspired to make me amenable to other suggestions.

Enter the Harlem Candle Company.

This company crafts candles themed after literary and cultural figures from the Harlem Renaissance period. And the candle that most intrigued me was Josephine, named after the bronzed goddess herself, Ms. Josephine Baker. I also purchased two other candles – Speakeasy and Ellington – in both the regular and travel sizes (respectively).

These candles are lush, complex and timelessly elegant. I love the fragrances that the company offers, as well as the charming backstories that explain the inspiration behind the scents. The company also ships their products quickly: it took me only a few days after purchasing to have my candles in hand. I enjoyed these candles so well that I made a YouTube video about it! Please check out the video, and give it a thumbs up if you enjoy it.

That’s all for today. I’ll talk to you all tomorrow. Take care!

fitness · goals · health

Using Law of Attraction for Weight Loss

I was on the fence about discussing this, because I CRINGE whenever someone posts “shortcuts” for weight loss, career success, etc., and, upon reading their advice or listening to their testimony, I find that they don’t actually tell the FULL details of how they accomplished their goal. I also didn’t want it to sound like law of attraction (LOA) is a magic wand that can be waved over our difficulties and *POOF!* the challenges disappear. Don’t get me wrong: LOA can be magical, and yes, sometimes it takes no more than thinking about a particular thing to make it happen. But, this is not always the case.

Sometimes, action is required for law of attraction to work. But for today’s story, the actual “action” was minimal, so I’ll give you the step-by-step story of how I manifested 11 lbs of weight loss in 6 days, with no diet or exercise required. Yes, it’s true: I lost ELEVEN POUNDS using just my mind. Not one moment was spent counting calories or sweating at a gym (or on my personal treadmill!) to make it happen.

This all started with a doctor’s visit. This particular visit was on a Monday. When the nurse weighed me, I was a solid 25 lbs heavier than my goal weight. I’d tried the cabbage soup diet the week before, and, while that helped to flatten my tummy, I didn’t progress beyond day two, because I started experiencing terrible headaches (hence my reason for going to the doctor). Since the beginning of the year, instead of losing 15 pounds (per my 2021 goals list), I’d GAINED an extra 10.

This was discouraging, but I thought, hey, maybe it had something to do with my clothes. I came home, removed my clothing, and found that my home scale only went down two pounds. When the truth stares you in the face, it’s impossible to deny it TWICE. I accepted the weight and vowed to change it without harsh diets or rigorous exercise.

Intuition led me to try using the 55 X 5 method to kick off my weight loss journey. I’d advise anyone else to listen to what their intuition tells them, as it’s often the most reliable internal guidance system that any of us has available at any given time. Intuition doesn’t scream at us, nor is it usually drastic: it’s often a gentle nudge that feels like, “Hmm, why not?” or, “Ooh, that sounds like fun”. In my case, my intuition felt strongly like the former. 55 X 5 felt like an easy way to get my mind on board with weight loss.

If you’ve never tried the 55 X 5 method, I’ll give you a brief explanation of what it is. Simply put, you figure out what you want to experience or create (for me, weight loss) and craft a short, simple phrase that captures what you desire. It helps if the phrase includes gratitude. For me, I came up with, “I’m thankful that I weigh X pounds”. The phrase should be in the present tense, as if you’re experiencing your desire reality RIGHT NOW. Then, you write the phrase 55 times a day, every day for 5 days in the notebook or journal of your choice. At the end of the 5 days, you should have what you want, or see positive traction in the direction of what you desire. (If you want a more detailed explanation, I advise you to look it up on YouTube or check out articles online about it.)

I wrote “I’m thankful that I weigh X pounds” 55 times a day, every day, for 5 days. The weight that I put in my notebook was 15 lbs less than what I saw on my doctor’s scale, but I didn’t care about whether I would drop 15 lbs in 5 days: I just wanted to see SOME results. On day 6, I released my attachment to the outcome. My body didn’t look any different, but I felt better about my weight because I knew my mindset was changing to that of someone that was 15 lbs lighter. On day 7 (exactly one week after my doctor’s appointment), I weighed myself. And I was 11 lbs lighter!

I basked in my success for a few days, then I started reflecting on what else I did, other than writing in my notebook. I think it’s probably easier to say what I didn’t do, as opposed to what I did do. Here’s what I DID NOT do:

  • I didn’t count calories. I ate what wanted without guilt, though I will admit that I was a bit more mindful (I chewed a bit slower and savored the flavors more, so I wouldn’t stuff myself unnecessarily).
  • I did not do any structured exercise AT ALL. I did start keeping a quick count of my steps throughout the day, but my physical activity was at pretty much the same level.
  • I didn’t change my medication or supplement routine. In fact, while I had temporarily stopped my medicine during my cabbage soup “fling” (I was off of my medication and supplements for 3 or 4 days) I decided to get back onto my regimen a day before the doctor weighed me, and I’ve been consistently on them since then.
  • I did not shame my body. I sent my body lots of love and appreciation, and took a little more time to treat myself well (moisturizing my skin thoroughly after bathing, consistently doing my nighttime skin routine, etc.,.).

Now here’s the short list of what I DID do (outside of the things mentioned above):

  • I reminded myself that I am a person that weighs the amount I put in my notebook. I kept that in my mind, and tried to make decisions from that mindset.
  • I recalled Anne Barone’s advice, where she mentioned that any unwanted weight gain could usually be connected to an increase in clutter. I started throwing away some things that didn’t serve me anymore.
  • I started paying closer attention to the signals that my body was sending me. If a certain area felt stiff, I’d stretch until I got some relief. If I felt thirsty, I’d drink water until I felt truly hydrated, without obsessing about whether I was drinking too much or not enough. If I felt hungry, I stopped to pay attention to what my body was actually craving: fruit, vegetable, protein, or carbs, and yes, sometimes sweets or junk food. And, I’d give my body EXACTLY what it wanted, without guilt, but only to the point of satisfaction. Anything more would be me behaving as someone that weighs more than my target weight.
  • I slept without guilt, including, enjoying multiple midday naps. A well-rested body can release excess weight much better than an exhausted, sleep-deprived one.

At the end of this experiment, I think it’s safe to say that the most influential factor in the weight loss was the mindset shift. Writing my desired outcome 55 times in a row was a great way to program my mind toward being a healthier weight. The more than I insisted that I was 15 lbs less, the more my body conformed with that version of my reality. While I didn’t shed the full 15 lbs, I’m thrilled with the 11 lbs that I loss, and staying happy and grateful for success is another way to keep the weight off FOR GOOD.

I’ll be doing this again in the next few days, to blast through my next weight loss mental barrier. I can’t wait to tell you all how that works out for me!

I hope that you enjoyed today’s post. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

writing

Writers Wednesdays – Three Books Published!

Happy Writers Wednesday! I’m really excited to share this post, as a follow up to Monday’s goal update post.

As the title says, I published three books this year so far. I mentioned briefly in this post that I had churned out two children’s books, and now I have added a new book to the collection. The newest book, Let’s Go to Japan, is my way of introducing children to the incredible world of Japanese culture, history and nature. I’m as proud of this book as I am of Let’s Go to China and Let’s Go to Vietnam.

Initially, I was on the fence about including these children’s books in my publishing goal. I think it’s because I don’t feel that these books are “serious enough” or have enough words to count as a publishing accomplishment. But, as usual, this is criticism that I have launched against myself (better known as self sabotage) and it has served me well to reconsider whether this perspective serves me.

I decided that these books, which take time for research, selecting appropriate pictures, and keeping the language simple enough for children, are just as valid as my novels or self-help works-in-progress. So I decided to count these books as part of my 5 published books goal. As a result, I am now more than halfway to reaching my book publishing goal for the year.

That being said, I still want to publish some of the other works in progress that I’ve had on my desk for a while (in the case of one of my books, more than 7 years!) and that are yearning to be in the hands of readers that will appreciate them. In that respect, my writing work truly doesn’t stop, even after I publish 5 books. I won’t feel truly “caught up” until all of my current works in progress are published. I actually haven’t done a count of how many WIPs I currently have, but I know that there are more than 5. In short, I have my work cut out for me.

I hope you all are having a terrific Wednesday! If you have any works in progress that you’re concentrating your energies onto right now, I’d love to hear all about it in the comments below!

goals · health · life curation

June Goal Updates

Happy Monday! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. I accidentally posted this last week (before I finished collecting my thoughts), so I had to pull the post and reschedule it. It was one of those weeks, folks . . . Anyhoo, here’s my June goal update post.

As a quick recap, here are the goals I have for 2021:

  • Publish 5 books
  • Lose 15 lbs
  • Manifest 3 international trips
  • Earn 6 figures in my businesses
  • Read 100+ books
  • Luxury purchases – Hermes, Christian Louboutin, Sophia Webster, Ralph & Russo
  • Cure my fibromyalgia

The Wednesday and Thursday posts will cover the first two points (weight loss discussion on Thursday, and publishing post on Writers’ Wednesdays, as normal). I’m really excited to discuss the (unorthodox) way I utilized to lose weight. I may even do a video on it (I’m still undecided about whether I’ll publish and attach a video related to the topic). Along with that, my Wednesday post will cover how I published 3 books in the past 6 months, and how I intend to publish 3 more before the end of the summer.

Onto the next point. . . While I very much desire to take 3 international trips (and I also intend to manifest the money to make those trips happen!), I haven’t been putting a lot of my energy toward that goal. To be honest, I have only decided on one international trip for sure, to happen at the end of December. I haven’t the faintest where else I want to go, or when I want to go there. I have a couple of ideas of how that can unfold for me, but for now, a lot of this is still undecided. I’m okay with the uncertainty: I don’t have to micromanage the details. So long as the perfect trips for ME come my way, I’m pleased.

So, I’m nowhere near my 6-figure business income goal. However, I’ve completely withdrawn my energy from my businesses in the past few months, so that doesn’t surprise me. Now, if I want to reach that goal, I’ll have to amp up the activity during this second half of the year. This actually works perfect for me, as I’ve built quite a bit of momentum over the past few months (by publishing my books at a comfortable pace, learning more about herbs and oils, nurturing my body so that I have more energy, etc.,). With the energy I’ve conserved, I have a lot more time available to pour into my businesses, so that I can see a drastic increase in my sales and so that I can knock out my goal of 6 figures in 2021!

I had to put my book-reading goals on hold during the month of May, since I was completing my Cornell University program. However, I resumed the reading challenge this month, and I’m excited to share which books I read during the month of June (also, I finally hit my monthly goal of 10+ books, which puts me on target for reaching 100+ before the end of the year!) The reading goal post will be available sometime next week.

I haven’t made any more luxury purchases in the past few months. I look forward to adding more goodies from luxury retailers sometime during August (my birthday month). I’m sure I’ll be eager to give myself a “treat” by then.

Finally, I’m still working on reversing my fibromyalgia. I think I’m getting close to a permanent solution, but I’m still testing a few things. Of course, you can simply peruse any of my Fibro Friday posts to see what I’m learning and trying on this journey.

Tomorrow, I’ll be sharing an amazing tool that I think will help tremendously with accomplishing my remaining goals. I can’t wait to share it with you! Until then, take care, and I’ll talk to you all soon!

writing

Writers Wednesdays – Redoing My Daily Schedule

It’s my first Writers’ Wednesday since my mini-hiatus, and the first order of business is getting back to the original summer writing plan. It’s been a lovely-ish break, now it’s time for me to get back to my goals.

As you may recall from my “New Cycle” post, I had four different challenges to address, as related to my writing:

Now that I’ve finally finished my Cornell classes, I can better assess how much free time I have in my daily schedule. And, as it turns out, I don’t have much free time at all! After finishing my classes, I suddenly got a surge in tutoring students (I also teach English as a second language) and I took on roughly 5 more teaching hours per week. This may not sound like a lot of additional work, but for someone that already had a minimal amount of free time, five hours is the difference between finishing a book in a few weeks or a few months.

So I had to take a closer look at my weekend free time. Now, I usually sleep in late on Saturdays and Sundays, but if I want to finish writing at least one more book before the end of summer, I’ll have to sacrifice a little bit of snooze time to reach my goal. This wouldn’t ordinarily be a huge issue, but as someone with fibromyalgia (and a persistent case of chronic fatigue), it’s hard to sleep less on the weekend and still feel functional. I’m going to try sacrificing 30 minutes on both Saturday and Sunday, at least for the next few weeks, just to see how it goes. If I find that I still need the rest, then I’ll figure out something else. In the meantime, I can’t worry too much about it: I just have to experiment with different routines until I find something that works.

In the weeks to come, I’ll experiment with my 30 minute blocks of time, and tell you all how that works for me. Wish me luck!

This weekend, I’ll try

health · life curation

Preparing for Mid-Summer Gardening!

I have still been enjoying time out in my yard, and I’m considering what plants I can start in July (since I was SO behind the ball this season). For the record, I didn’t know that I was going to be so fascinated with gardening, flowers, and nature in general this spring. My fascination blindsided me, so I’m very LATE in garden planning. But that doesn’t mean that all hope is lost! There are quite a few plants that can be started in midsummer and still thrive with ease.

Dreaming of summer gardening . . .

Burpee’s website outlines all of the crops that can be started in July. I wasn’t interested in growing vegetables per se, but if I change my mind, I may try to grow squash. My preference is smaller herbs and maybe some flowers. I found this guide published on The Spruce to be the best one for planning the kind of plants I would like to grow.

The only thing currently blooming in my yard: my gorgeous gardenias!

I’ve very interested in growing cilantro, garlic, basil and (perhaps) arugula or looseleaf lettuce. I want to start small and then expand into bigger plants. I really enjoyed seeing my overall growing options over on the Old Farmer’s Almanac website. There are a lot of plants that can grow in my zone (zone 7) so I’m excited to see if I can squeeze in one more herb or maybe even a fruit (perhaps blackberries or raspberries).

I watched this fantastic video that also gave me some ideas for what I may grow in my zone in July. I like that this guide can be used for multiple zones, not just zone 7. Rare Seeds’s YouTube channel is a wealth of information.

Will any of you be trying some midsummer gardening? Let me know about it in the comments!