reading list

Reading List: August’s Book

Happy Friday, darlings! I hope you’ve got an exciting weekend planned or, if relaxation is what you need, I hope that you’ve planned some time to chill out and restore yourself.

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It’s time for August’s book!

I tossed around a few options for this month, because I was unsure whether I wanted (yet another) book focused on self improvement or something completely different. However, while looking through a few of my stacks of books, I came across one that I hadn’t read yet and was eager to finally dig into.

August’s book is Elizabeth Takes Off by Elizabeth Taylor. I don’t think I’ve read a celebrity’s autobiography in years, so this will be very different from my norm. I love Elizabeth Taylor (remember I did a post about her nearly a year ago?) so when I purchased this book, it was because I wanted the secret to her crazy-tiny waistline. Yeah, it’s superficial, but if she’s giving out the secrets, I want to be the first in line, with my pen in hand.

When I glanced through the book, I recalled that this is, indeed, a book about her diet, but it’s also a discussion about her personal life and career, so it should be a well-balanced, fascinating read. I’m looking forward to reading this one!

life curation

Living Your Best Life: Law of Attraction Keys for a Smoother Divorce

As part of living my best life, I want to continue exploring the things that I’ve used successfully to get certain “wins” in my life. While divorce was painful and life-changing, I had some tools that helped me significantly as I transitioned into divorcee life. I’m convinced that using these tools consistently has made the difference between feeling full of despair and being excited about what lies ahead.

peace

I heavily utilized law of attraction (LOA) techniques to assist me with transitioning to this phase of my life. Here are my top three techniques that I used, as well as some details on how I used them.

Affirmations: I woke up every day and affirmed what I wanted. Some days, my affirmation was as simple as “Every day is a great day”. On other days, when I had a little more pep, I might say something like, “I’m lucky, gorgeous and always attracting awesomeness!” The beauty of affirmations is that I got to repeat whatever felt good, or comforting, at the moment, and that did wonders for setting the tone for my day.

Scripting: When I had the energy, time and focus to put into thinking about what I wanted my ideal post-marriage life to look like, I would do a bit of scripting. Scripting is the process of writing your ideal life as if you are living it NOW. It takes the dream life from fantasy land and immerses you in the experience now (even if that experience is virtual). When I review “Lifestyle Design for a Champagne Life” by Cassie Parks, I’ll have a bit more detail about the process of scripting. Cassie also lists the details of how to script in this podcast episode..

Rituals: I found tremendous comfort from engaging rituals throughout my separation and divorce. When I say “ritual”, I’m not speaking of a religious practice: I’m talking about the routines and habits that gave me stability and relief. One thing that I did consistently is go to the gym and walk on the treadmill to clear my mind. I also used to frequently visit the nearby museums when I needed a mental break, and I enjoyed many afternoons soaking up nature in picturesque Haupt Garden. I consistently used these diversions to give me some peace when I had a lot of inner turmoil.

All of the LOA practices I engaged helped me to get relief from the stress of separation and divorce. For me, this was never about engaging in fantasy or throwing on a bunch of “positive thought” in an attempt to avoid the pain. I moved through the pain and, when it became overwhelming, I reached for what would help me to make it through. I hope that you are able to use some of these tools during some of life’s less-than-ideal challenges.

life curation

Living Your Best Life: 5 Tax Tips for Divorced and Separated People

As a (sort of) recent divorcee, I have been navigating my finances and getting a sense of how to responsibly handle my money in this new phase of my life.

Once upon a time, I worked for IRS as an international tax auditor. I reviewed the tax returns of people living abroad as well as foreign-born individuals that lived and worked in the US. So, suffice it to say, I’m pretty comfortable with tax law.

That being said, I still wasn’t quite prepared for what life would look like as a person preparing her taxes for the first time post-divorce. It’s been about 6 years since I left IRS, so I wanted to make sure that I had the most current knowledge of the tax code, and I wanted to ensure that I was making good decisions now and in the future as I go forward.

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So here’s my little guide for getting a good handle on your tax situation as a separated or divorced person. Some of the tips are also good for anyone (I’ll put my “applies to anyone” advise in parentheses after each applicable tip). Keep this guide of 5 tips (I even threw in a bonus for everyone, so it’s technically 6 tips!) to help you approach your taxes in a clear, orderly, empowered fashion.

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  1. Relax about the process. Seriously, nothing good comes from worrying. So take a deep breath and know that YOU CAN DO THIS! Pace yourself and give yourself time to really absorb what you’re learning. Don’t worry about committing it all to memory: no one does that! Just get familiar enough with how to search the IRS.gov website and you will be fine – really, you will! (This applies to everyone. Taxes have a “logic” that begins to make sense to you when you take your time. Don’t worry about learning it all).
  2. Order return, account, and wage/income transcripts for the entire period of the marriage. These documents are free and can arrive to you within two weeks, or you may also request to view the transcripts online. The main transcripts you’ll need are 1) return transcripts, showing what was reported on the tax return for a given year; 2) account transcripts, showing the summary of account activity during a given year (especially helpful if you paid tax as opposed to getting a refund, or if the refund was “offset” [reduced to pay for a federal or state obligation, like delinquent child support, student loans, unpaid income taxes, etc.,); and 3) wage/income transcripts, that show all of the income received during a tax year, as well as mortgage interest paid, student loan interest paid, debt cancellations, etc.,. You want to review these documents to make sure that all of the information is correct before you file your taxes. These are good documents to include in your financial binder, too (This is a good practice for everyone. Order the documents, review them, and make sure that everything is accurate).
  3. Get Publication 504 and READ it! This publication is voluminous but it covers everything that divorced and separated people need to know when preparing their taxes. This is especially helpful for parents, as custody agreements and divorce decrees may have special rules for handling how the parents will file and claim credits and deductions related to children.
  4. Take advantage of free tax preparation software that is available through Credit Karma. I’ve used it for the past two years and I’m very pleased with how well it works. If you’re nervous about preparing and submitting your taxes, then play around with the Credit Karma software (but don’t submit the document: just print it out) then get a trusted tax professional to review it. Have that professional tell you if you missed anything, or have them explain how certain rules, credits and deductions work. (Credit Karma is free to everyone, so check out the software and see if it’s something that will work for you).
  5. Know that you can always amend a return. If you mess up, you can always correct it! The form for amending taxes is Form 1040X. Correcting the taxes can be time consuming, but if the change is significant enough, it’s worth it to initiate the correction on your end as opposed to having IRS open an audit. Audits, by the way, aren’t the super-scary event that most people paint it to be. However, it can take a long time to resolve (depending on the auditor) so it’s always best if you are proactive and amend an incorrect return. (Again, this applies to everyone).
  • Bonus tip: make sure your address is current! Sometimes IRS will send you correspondence to the last address of record, which may have changed since your last filing. Depending on how much your ex controlled the flow of information, you’d do well to update your address with IRS by filing Form 8822.

I’ve hyperlinked all of the referenced forms, websites and publications for your convenience.

 

reading list

Reading List: April’s Book

 

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As part of creating the best year of my life, I’m committed to doing the internal and external work that will help me realize my intentions and create the lifestyle that I desire. In support of this journey, I am focused on reading books that will enhance my life, either through providing inspiration, knowledge, or entertainment, all for the sake of crafting a wonderful year.

For April’s book of the month, I’ve selected Lifestyle Design for a Champagne Life by Cassie Parks. I’ve read this one before, but I didn’t execute all of the exercises mentioned in the book. I have, however, read another of Cassie’s books, Manifest $10,000, and I got phenomenal results, so I am confident that Lifestyle Design for a Champagne Life will be truly life-changing for me.

However, as you all know, I’m doing the Joy Challenge for April, so I am going to read Lifestyle Design but I may have to save the exercises for May, when I have a bit more time and can give it my full attention. That being said, if I find that I do have a bit of time, and inspiration leads me to completing some of the exercises in April, then I’ll do so. I believe in not “overworking” my conscious creation muscle by doing too many things at once. But I also believe in following inspiration, so we’ll see how it goes.

Have any of you read Cassie Parks’s books before? Let me know in the comments below!

beauty

Review: Life of a Bombshell Mini-Haul

I bought some Life of a Bombshell products several months ago but never got around to doing this review. Between work, travel and the bazillion other reviews I did, I missed reviewing these items.

But now I’m back, and I’m ready to talk about them!

I’ve reviewed Life of a Bombshell before in this post. The gorgeous rose gold brushes are still holding up well (though I broke the handle on one of them – clearly *my* issue, and not anything wrong with the brand itself). I’m a fan of the brand because it’s a small, woman-owned company.

I purchased three of the liquid matte lipsticks, in Passion, Purpose and Master Plan, as well as the High Maintenance eyeshadow palette. I also order the creme sheen lipstick in Barbz, but I haven’t worn that one yet, so I won’t be reviewing it in this post (I’ll probably review it on Instagram in the next couple of days).

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So, let’s talk about the liquid lipsticks first. These did have a matte finish but they were non-drying and applied smoothly. The colors were GORGEOUS, vibrant and long-lasting. Passion is an intense fuschia, Purpose is a lovely purple shade – not as dark as plum but not as light as orchid – and Master Plan is a rich, gingerbread hue. I often combined Passion and Purpose for a bright and eye-catching lip shade. At work, I reach for Master Plan when I want an easy neutral shade to wear.

Swatches (top to bottom: Master Plan, Passion, Purpose) without and with flash

Wearing a combination of Passion and Purpose

Now about the palette. I. LOVE. IT! The colors are beautiful and applied easily. The pigments are smooth and can be easily intensified for dramatic looks. I like that the palette combines shimmers and mattes, and, instead of having a strictly “rose hued” palette, the company wisely included a green shade for variety. Genius!

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The only two things I wish is that the company named the shades and included a mirror in the lid. It would be a lot easier to describe the combination I used for my eyes if the shades were labeled (for easy reference). However, absent of shade names, I’ll do my best to describe what I’ve been rocking recently. I love using the matte tawny (top row, 2nd shade) as a transition color, oat (bottom row, 1st shade) on my brow bone, shimmery cerise (top row, 3rd shade) on my lid and the deepest shade – the soft raisin one (bottom row, 3rd shade)- in my crease for depth. It’s a soft, easy look that’s both polished and pretty.

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Swatches of the eyeshadow shades: the first 4 are the top row; the remaining shades are from the bottom row

The products are reasonably priced and perform well. I’ve been complimented on several of the looks I’ve created with the lip and eye shades. I highly recommend that you try them for yourself!

art · luxury

Art Collectors Conundrum: Culture Clash

As explained in previous posts, Art Collectors Conundrum explores the current issues surrounding art collecting. There are a lot of different issues that impact new collectors as they journey into the art world, and one of those big issues is the dissonance that exists between aesthetic indulgences and minimalist ideals.

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Betye Saar, Blow Top Blues, The Fire Next Time (1998)

The thing is, the culture of today’s wealthy – especially wealthy millenials – leans more toward minimalism and less toward acquisition of material goods. Any time spent on social media will confirm the “shift” from a culture of excess to one of spartan decorating practices. Many millenials favor the bare walls and monochrome decor that makes for clear, appealing Instagram photos. And, if they select art, the art often lacks the color, texture and excitement that used to be favored by collectors.

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Betye Saar, Indigo Mercy (1975)

In short, this cultural clash results in fewer “new” big spenders. Bloomberg wrote about the “new elite” and their artistic tastes. The article points out that location has much to do with the cultural difference, too: East Coast “new money” tends to buy art in the more traditional fashion, while West Coast “new money” isn’t as interested in purchasing pricey art “for arts’ sake”.

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Betye Saar, Twilight Awakening (1978)

The key to luring in these potential art investors isn’t as simple as one would think. The most important thing to remember about the new wealthy is that they are earning their fortunes much earlier than the wealthy of previous generations. They just aren’t as likely to be focused on art collecting if they are buying their first homes and starting families.

An interesting way to get the new wealthy interested in collecting could be an art loan program, which allows them to enjoy works for a fixed period of time and then they can purchase the work if they want, or turn it back over to the gallery to “try out” something different. It isn’t a perfect solution but it would provide them with some exposure to fine art and would help them hone in on their personal tastes and preferences.

Those are some of my thoughts on overcoming the dissonance between minimalist goals and owning art. What are your thoughts? Feel free to share your comments below!

(all art by Betye Saar and in the National Gallery of Arts collections)

art · life curation

Review: Alison “Great Artists and Their Works” Course

I’ve spent the past several weeks working through a few art courses, and I recently completed the first self-paced course I’ve taken this year. ALISON.com has a slew of courses that can be taken online for free, at the learner’s leisure. Completed courses are eligible for certificates of completion that learners can add to their educational portfolios.

I mentioned previously that I was completing the “Great Artists and Their Works” course. The course is approximately 5 – 6 hours long, and features 8 modules, with multiple lessons within each module. Each module discusses a different artist, and the artists are associated with different art movements throughout history (Renaissance, Baroque, Neoclassical, Cubism, etc.,).

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(picture from Alison.com)

I found this to be a very helpful free course, and a suitable, though compressed, art history introduction. I was enthralled by the artists I’d never heard of before – namely, Caravaggio, Gian Lorenzo Bernini and Jacques-Louis David – and I’m glad I spent the time working through this course.

While I enjoyed the class, it isn’t without its flaws. It relies on videos created by Khan Academy, so you could just as easily study directly from the Khan Academy website. Also, the course has a single, cumulative examination at the end instead of quizzes sprinkled throughout the modules. In my experience, students learn better when they are periodically quizzed instead of assessing their knowledge after many concepts have been discussed and analyzed. Finally, there were a few questions that tested learners on concepts that weren’t taught in the course (I had to use Google for the answers).

Overall, I enjoyed the class and would recommend to anyone that wants to get familiar with some of the great names in art. If you decide to take it, let me know what you think about it!

life curation · style

Re-Imagining the Classics, Part 2

This post is a continuation of the Re-Imagining the Classics theme. We continue to look at some of the classic wardrobe pieces and see some suitable alternatives that retain classic appeal but give it a fresh spin.

Instead of a Wrap DressTry a Shirtdress

Wrap dresses have been incorrectly identified as “flattering on every body type”. That isn’t true, though it flatters many different women. Likewise, the shirtdress isn’t for every body, though it looks great on many women. This generally requires more maintenance that the wrap dress (shirtdresses usually need ironing to look their best), but the finished product is more structured and looks crisp.

These shirtdresses from iLover are inexpensive and adorable. They are available in many different colors and designs.

Instead of a Jean JacketTry a Leather (or leather-like material) Jacket

 The leather (or leather-looking) jacket adds edge and coolness to almost any outfit. It also tends to look more polished than its denim counterpart. This material can be designed to fit loosely or to mimic the shape of the body, so there is a leather jacket style for everyone. Bonus: leather substitutes can give you the look of leather without the cruelty, so it’s easy to find beautiful designs made with vinyl or other vegan leather materials.

This genuine leather jacket by BGSD is fitted, edgy and flattering.

This faux leather jacket by Chouyatou is affordable and has a striking, flattering shape

Instead of Ankle BootsTry Riding Boots

When you live in a region that gets chilly in the winter, you want a boot that covers more than just your ankles. Riding boots – both the rugged style and the more refined and elegant rendition – cover most of the calf and can be styled with dresses, pants and skirts.

These BareTraps Riding Boots have a low heel, plain shaft, and strap-and-buckle detail across the vamp, making them a flattering option for a variety of ensembles.

Instead of Black PantsTry Charcoal Pants

Black pants are everywhere, and, to be honest, the look can get a little boring. Instead of reaching for black, why not try charcoal? The shade is still dark and neutral, but it provides a fresh interpretation on the solid pant look. Charcoal gray comes in varying degrees of depth, so it can be a mid-range gray or a shade-above-black hue. In any case, it’s a look that can add a hint of color to your wardrobe.

These Eddie Bauer pants have a flattering straight leg and come in a luscious graphite hue

Instead of a Knit SweaterTry an Elegant Sweatshirt

Sweaters are lovely, but they normally have to be handled with care (washed on delicate or dry cleaned, air dried, etc.). Why not try an elegant sweatshirt instead? The key to keeping the look from being too sporty is to avoid any designs featuring thick cuffs or heavy ribbing around the neckline. Also check the fit: the more fitted to the body, the most elegant it looks.


This Sarin Matthews sweatshirt fits closer to the body and comes in beautiful deep shades.

That is all of the re-imagined classics! Make sure to check out Part One for additional recommendations. Talk to you all tomorrow!

food

My Favorite Products from Trader Joe’s

Hi friends! I’m doing this post because I love my Trader Joe’s (TJ) finds, and I wanted to quickly share some of my favorites with you!

Here are my top ten TJ items!

TJ’s Mushroom Medley

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Sauteed by themselves or added to a meat or veggie medley: these enhance the flavor of any dish. Try them with beef or beefless tips, add some red wine and well-cooked onions, and you have something very similar to a beef bourguignon (not exactly the same, but you get my drift).

TJ’s Vegetable Panang Curry

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A delicious microwaveable meal with great flavor. Bonus points: it has plenty of veggies, so no need to add a side dish!

TJ’s Paneer Tikka Masala

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Another quick, microwaveable dish that is flavorful. I especially like that the paneer isn’t too chewy nor does it get overcooked easily.

TJ’s Roasted Seaweed Snacks (wasabi-flavored)

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I’ll eat the salted version, but the wasabi is my favorite. So much yum, and a great value at $1 a pack (the packs are generously sized!)

TJ’s Crab Cakes

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I’m a Mid-Atlantic girl, so I don’t play with my crab cakes; fortunately, neither does TJ’s. The crab cakes are meaty, with very little breader, and the price is excellent.

TJ’s Tempura Shrimp

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Much like the crab cakes, the price of the tempura shrimp is great and they taste delicious. I pop them in my toaster oven and within 30 minutes I have crispy bits of heaven.

TJ’s Pecan Pralines

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So yummy on baked sweet potatoes, and sinfully delicious on their own. I grab a few of these when I’m craving a healthier alternative to candy (at least they have protein, right?)

TJ’s Everything but the Bagel Sesame Seasoning Blend

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As a huge fan of the Everything bagel, I realize I can’t always have a bagel when I want it (nor do I always need so many calories). However, this is delightful on buttered slices of toast or any potato incarnation. Just sprinkle and enjoy!

TJ’s 21-Seasoning Salute

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Don’t know what to add to give your meats or veggies flavor? Just grab the 21 Seasoning Salute and you’re guaranteed a delicious outcome!

TJ’s Cookie Butter

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Eat it by the spoonful. No explanation needed: this already has a cult-like following, and for good reason. It’s shortbread cookies in spread form – so much yum.

 

What is your favorite TJ product? Let me know in the comments!

life curation · reading list

Currently Listening To . . .

With my January book review coming in a few days, it only seemed appropriate that I did a little more research on the author, Tim Ferriss. Somehow, I’d completely forgotten that Tim has had a podcast for YEARS, giving practical advice on how to implement the strategies he outlined in the Four Hour Work Week book.

The Tim Ferriss Show is one of the most popular podcasts out there, with hundreds of millions (yes, you read that correctly) downloads. He has interviewed many famous and influential people, and his various time/creativity/productivity hacks give solid strategies for getting things done more efficiently and effectively.

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It’s hard to tell you exactly where to start: I find great information in each podcast. These podcasts are a bit longer (more than 30 minutes in length) so they are great for listening during a long commute or while completing chores. Among the most popular posts is “How to Build a Million-Dollar, One-Person Business – Case Studies From The 4-Hour Work Week” from December 2017. That’s pretty impressive, considering that (at the time of this post) this episode is less than two months old.

I’ll be listening to Tim over the next few weeks as I work on some other projects: I think I’ll find some more great tips throughout the episodes. If you’ve never listened to Tim before, check out the podcast! I think you’ll enjoy it.