Even though I adore ClubHouse and all sorts of webinars that are designed to be instructional, I am always looking for podcasts that offer something different and enlightening to me. In my recent search, I found something truly special.
My latest obsession right now is Archewell Audio, hosted by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Harry and Meghan Markle. I didn’t know how this would go, since I was unfamiliar with the couple outside of what has been presented by the media. The media in the US has been pretty kind to the couple, especially during 2020. Here are my thoughts on this first episode of the show.
Simple. Tasteful. Focused on others. HUMAN and HUMANE. I loved it. This initial podcast offers a platform to a variety of people that offered their reflections on 2020 and the pain, joy, and resilience they felt during the year. I love that the Sussexes served as kindhearted moderators, gently steering the conversation without “overtalking” the individuals interviewed. I love how the couple interjected extra praise for the more modest guests, taking every opportunity to elevate the individuals interviewed.
This podcast is, simply put, beautiful. I cannot wait until the next episode, so I can listen to it while taking a walk on my treadmill. This is wonderful and so well done. Great job, Harry and Meghan!
To commemorate this new year, I want to share some of the intentions that I’ve set for 2021.
Over the past few years, my goals have felt a little lackluster, so I’m excited to share some goals that really light me up! I looked at several areas of my life, and I pinpointed what changes I need to make in order to make those areas of my life feel more balanced and abundant.
So, without further ado, here are my 2021 goals:
Publish 5 books
Lose 15 lbs
Manifest 3 international trips
Earn 6 figures from my businesses
Read 100+ books
Luxury purchases – an item from Hermes, a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes, a pair of Sophia Webster shoes, and a pair of Ralph & Russo shoes
I discuss my goals further in this video, along with why I’m not creating a vision board this year (I’ve created one every year since 2014 or 2015). I usually don’t make my videos this long, but I needed this amount of time to discuss all of the things I’m planning for my YouTube channel as well as for this blog. Enjoy, and I’ll talk to you all tomorrow!
I wonder if the world’s population has ever been as ready for a year’s ending as we are right now. 2020 has been a momentous year: devastating at times, solemn at other times, and tremendously unpredictable throughout. There seems to be a collective desire to close this chapter and move cheerfully into the next.
While I am as eager as everyone else to end the year and turn the page, I am cautious to give this year end the graceful closure it deserves. If there is nothing else that can be said about 2020, it should be noted that this year has been highly instructive. I want to share some of the lessons that I learned in 2020.
Patience – I had to learn to be patient when it comes to my travel desires, as well as being patient as everyone around me adjusts to a “new normal”. Funny enough, I have always found it easier to be patient with other people than with myself. So when I occasionally get frustrated with myself (I’ve set multiple deadlines that I ended up having to adjust later), I try to remember to show myself a little bit of the patience that I usually reserve for others.
Love – I had high hopes for meeting a life partner this year. And while I did meet some interesting suitors, I didn’t find the romantic love that I desired. I did, however, experience an abundance of love in my life, in the form of family and friends that have been incredibly supportive and caring this year. I learned to look for authentic love in all its forms, and I wasn’t disappointed with what I found. I did not lack for love in 2020, and that was such a blessing.
Gratitude – As I expressed earlier this week, I am thankful for the fact that most of my family and friends were all healthy and happy this year. I am thankful for platforms like Zoom that made it possible for us to stay in contact while staying safe. I am thankful for having a beautiful home to quarantine in, within a safe and welcoming neighborhood. I honestly have so much to be grateful for, and I try my best to stay in the energy of gratitude.
Slow down – One of my key traits in years prior was to stay in constant motion. I loved to always have a project, or trip, or activity, to keep me occupied. This year has forced me to slow down in unexpected ways. I couldn’t just run to my favorite hangout spots: I actually had to stay home and learn to entertain myself in different ways. Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m an introvert, so staying home wasn’t hard. But I was forced to really examine my life, resulting in the decision to slow down and really enjoy the small things.
Rest – I previously had the motto, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”. I’m fortunate to have matured from this point of view, and now I value my sleep. What my body has needed this year has been intense self care, with sleep being a centerpiece of my care routine. So much of my health improvements has depended heavily upon my commitment to rest and restoration.
In conclusion, this is my way of blessing 2020 as I move forward to 2021. Thank you, 2020, for the lessons. I’ll never forget them.
Hi friends! If you have been following this blog for some time, then you know that I treasure New Years Day, and it is, hands down, one of my favorite times of year. I’ve always gotten such a kick out of setting resolutions and working toward my dreams throughout the year.
However, 2020 was nothing like anything that we could have anticipated. Between the anxiety I experienced related to my fibromyalgia journey and the unpredictable situation created by the pandemic, I had neither the energy nor the motivation to work on any big goals. I mourned the loss of opportunity within 2020, but I look forward to better, brighter days in 2021.
In honor of the projects that I put on indefinite hold in 2020, and in recognition of the grand intentions that I’m setting for 2021, I will be undertaking one of the biggest, most special projects I’ve ever considered. And the best part of this project is that all of the basic information will be available starting next week, and the entire process will be documented on this blog. It’s so near and dear to me, that I’m keeping this one really close to my chest, at least until I announce it later this evening (at 6 PM EST) on Clubhouse. If you are on Clubhouse, you can add me – my handle is @bronzebutterfly . I’ll discuss my project there, during my weekly Conscious Creation chat, and I’ll give more details then.
If you aren’t on Clubhouse, or are reading this after 6 PM EST today, then just know that I will be posting the details on next Wednesday (January 6, 2021). I’m so excited that I can hardly stand it!
That’s it for today. I’ll either catch you on Clubhouse, or I will talk to you all tomorrow. Take care!
While taking a hiatus from this blog, I decided to delve into some other projects of interest. I decided that the best thing for me would be to figure out what lights me up, and to focus on doing that for a while, even if the joyful feeling faded quickly.
The point of the exercise wasn’t to find a long-term passion project, but to put my energy into whatever made me happy, so that I could be in a better mental space for future creation. As it turns out, this short-term projects were just what I needed to relight the spark in me. And, because I had the spark re-lit, some of these short-term projects will be around a lot longer than I initially thought.
For starters, I worked on revising a book that I originally released late last year. The book was (in my opinion) a fantastic workbook for creating lifestyle changes, but because I titled the book “2020 Vision”, I knew that it wouldn’t be a popular selection for 2021. So I changed the title to more accurately reflect the content, and thus “Create Your Vision” was born.
When I tell you all how proud I am of this book . . . It really was a labor of love. I poured my best intentions into this text. And my author’s proof was so pretty, I knew that it would give someone a lot of joy! If you’re interested in getting a copy for yourself, you can click here or on the photo above. I created 25 different covers for this book, so if you’d like to see another design, you can visit my shop at Bronze Butterfly Books, or my shop available through this blog (just click here).
Along with re-releasing my book, I got inspired to work on a series of books that address a need that I (and many other women) have. I’m keeping the details under wraps for now, as I flesh out the concept more and figure out if I will need collaborators on this project. I will be announcing more details soon, so look out for that.
So those were my major projects for the past couple of months, and it looks like these projects are becoming a permanent part of my life. I’m excited to see where these take me, though if I feel overwhelmed, I will have no problem reducing or eliminating these projects to help maintain a sense of balance in my life.
So that’s what I was up to while I was gone. I have a few other things in the works, but I’ll share those in the weeks to come. Until tomorrow, take care!
I’m so happy to be back on the Bronze Butterfly blog! I took some much needed time to care for myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. 2020 has been a difficult year for everyone, and I especially felt the weight of this year when I considered the fact that I’m unable to travel internationally. As you all know, international travel is one of my favorite pasttimes, and the lack of travel has left me a bit depressed.
That being said, there are many things that I am appreciating at this year’s end. My family and close friends have been healthy (no COVID infections) and safe this entire year. My grandmother and her sister have been able to live comfortably in my home since March, and they are thriving here. And speaking of my home, I’m so grateful for a house that is in great shape and hasn’t needed any major repairs. My car, however, did need some small repairs, but these repairs were done affordably and with ease.
This time at home has allowed me to focus on what really matters, and I’ve relished the domestic duties that I’ve completed. This year has, indeed, been a good one (all things considered). We’ve been blessed beyond measure, and it’s been a year full of love, many changes, and lots of gratitude.
I am overjoyed to be back. I hope you all are doing well, and I’ll talk to you all tomorrow. Take care!
I’m so delighted to be back over here! I am looking forward to chatting with you all soon. Have a great day, and I’ll be back tomorrow.
What wonderful things have happened for you this year? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!
Hello friends! I hope you all are doing well and feeling great. I took a little break from writing because the past several weeks have been filled with highs and lows.
Within the past month, I’ve had to say my final goodbyes to several people, including my beautiful friend and one of my mentors, Lorraine Spencer. Lorraine was a devoted wife and mother, writer, former magistrate, and all-around brilliant woman. I spent time with her and her family during trip to Los Angeles last year. Little did I know that it would be the last time that I saw her. Lorraine’s health declined rapidly after my visit, and she took her last breath on July 22, 2020. I am still mourning this tremendous loss, as well as the loss of my best friend’s father, who passed in July as well.
On top of the grief that I’ve been managing, I was stressed out over unwanted contact from someone with whom I severed communication last year. The fact that this person has continued to violate my personal boundaries have been a frustrating experience. I still don’t have a long term solution for that, but using blocking measures on all of my social media has given me some peace of mind.
In spite of my sadness, stress and frustration, I feel very fortunate. I feel good about the fact that I regularly kept in contact with my friends, thus removing many of the “I wish I’d been more available” that I’ve experienced in years prior. I continue to improve my relationships by communicating on a consistent basis. This has made a tremendous difference in how I’ve been processing my grief.
Another “peak” I’ve experienced is improved physical health. I’ve been supplementing my prescription medication with herbal tea blends that provide crucial trace minerals. I genuinely feel so much better than I’ve felt in a long time. I’m still customizing these tea blends, but I’m looking forward to eventually offering them to others that are trying to manage their pain and improve their health.
So that’s my mini update. I’ll be back to my regular blogging schedule soon, but I wanted to drop in briefly to let you all know what’s been going on with me. I hope you all are doing great, and I’ll be back soon. Take care!
Today’s post will be super-quick, because things have been very busy on my end.
A few weeks ago, I came across a link to a website offering various job seeker services, including interview practice, resume rewrites, LinkedIn makeovers, etc.,. I want to share this website with you, just in case you have the qualifications but want to ensure that you present yourself in the best light possible. Career Business Bar is a great resource for anyone that want to break into a new career but just needs a little help with their presentation.
You should check them out, if you’re ready to change careers and want a little help with polishing your skills and application documents (like your resume). I haven’t used this company yet, but I think the services provided are reasonably priced and worth the investment.
That’s all for today: take care, and I’ll talk to you all soon.
(This is the first of several reposted essays from my previous blog. I’m not sure if the hyperlinks still work, but I’ve kept them so that the essay makes sense. Also, this entry was initially written to encourage Black women to enhance their lives in any way possible, but I anticipate that some of these points will resonate even if you’re not a Black woman. Enjoy!)
Recently, I was brainstorming over ways to get my degree done faster during my morning drive to work. Well, somehow I started thinking about other people’s blogs, then I started thinking about Evia’s blog specifically, and how she implored black women to “increase their value. I started thinking: How does a woman increase her value? How does she go from average to above average to excellent? Why is it important to increase your value? As I continued driving, it occurred to me: I have the answer! Eureka!
This woman looks like she knows how to reach her goals!
The short answer is this: figure out what is important to you, then plan on how to excel in that area. There’s more, of course, to this, and I plan to go into it fully throughout my blog. “How to increase your value” is going to be the main theme here on this blog. That’s what I’ve always wanted my writing to be about: becoming a better version of ourselves. I’m going to give you a little teaser for what’s to come:
Why is it important to increase your value?
Value is both objective and subjective: value can be recognized in almost anything, but what is valuable to each person is an individual choice. Value is an awesome thing, in that it can be added and not easily taken away. We all want to be valued and to have valuable people in our most intimate circle. It’s easy to see why value is important.
However, increasing our value is a different thing, and can be very confusing. Black women, in particular, have an interesting history and shared culture when it comes to increasing our value: many of us come from communities that tell us to become more valuable in very specific ways: go to school, have a great career, and give generously to the church and community of origin. However, when we attain a certain amount of value markers, we can find ourselves feeling very lonesome. We hope and expect those in our circle of friends and family to be attaining greater value as well, but oftentimes this journey to higher value is a solo mission. In our community, there is a sad conditioning going on: this very community encourages Black women to be as valuable as we can, but to simultaneously lower our expectations and standards when interacting with others in the community.
We are encouraged to marry any ol’ man, even if he isn’t high quality, just for the sake of procreating and “building up the community”. We are expected to “upgrade” everyone that we meet, while never expected anyone to pour back into us (talk about non-reciprocity!). We are encouraged to live in dangerous physical settings around “our” people, because moving to a safer neighborhood makes us “snobs”. We discouraged from speaking intelligibly because we “sound White” when we do. We’re given the greenlight to have children even if we are woefully unprepared for them (religiosity is a huge factor in this) and we are criticized when we expect our coparents to contribute financially to the care of the children. We are encouraged to make spectacles of ourselves for the sake of “keeping it real”, and we are told that unhealthy eating habits are fine since being “thick” should be our goal (I have slim friends who were teased mercilessly for not having curves, despite being healthy and normal in all other aspects).
Confusing, huh? How can one expect a valuable person to keep their expectations and standards low? Unfortunately, some have fallen victim to this trap and did everything to become valuable yet squander their resources on a community that doesn’t not provide anything in return – not even safety and a measure of unity. (This comes to an important point: VALUE SHOULD NOT BE WASTED. Not on an individual, not on a community, not within a society. Even after becoming our most valuable, Black women should use their value where it is appreciated and can benefit them. More about this in an upcoming post.)
The good news? Once a person is valuable, the individual can escape whatever toxic or nonreciprocal environment she is in. The most important point is: VALUE IS FREEDOM. Valuable individuals can leave harmful situations and select/create healthier environments. Valuable individuals are welcome additions in most communities: it won’t be hard for a valuable person to be welcomed into a social construct, so long as the person holds value for those within that construct. Increased value is increased freedom: the ability to choose from more environments and more favorable circumstances. That is why increasing one’s value is so important.
Happy Monday, friends! I hope you all had a safe and fun weekend.
Today’s post is courtesy of a fantastic free workbook that I downloaded from the Tory Burch Foundation website. As a newbie female entrepreneur, I’m constantly on the lookout for information that can help me to successfully grow my businesses. I’m fascinated by how many individual “parts” need to sync in order to create business success. So I read a lot of guides and do any of the associated exercises to ensure that I’m testing the theories and learning – for myself – what works and what doesn’t.
The Tory Burch Foundation’s Ambition Guidebook is a wonderful resource for anyone beginning on the entrepreneur path. The exercises in the booklet lead you through self-discovery, and if you do the exercises, you’ll eventually reveal to yourself the strengths that you possess, potential roadblocks on your path, and actionable steps that you can take to achieve your goals.
That leads me to the title of this post: are you ambitious? Many of us have been taught to shy away from this personality trait, out of fear of offending others. Women, particularly, may have gotten the messaging that ambition is a “masculine” trait and thus undesirable in any authentically “feminine” woman. For those that are still a bit nervous about the word “ambitious”, you can easily substitute the words “passionate” or even “enthusiastic”. When substituting different words, it’s clear that ambition is a good thing: one could even say that ambition is the spice of life!
Yes, so many of the things that we enjoy are the products of extreme ambition. Strong desire is what inspires us to create new things, even in a world where it seems like “everything” has already been created! One of the saddest things I’ve ever seen what someone that no longer had any ambition: a lack of desire leaves a person feeling lost and disinterested in life. Most of us have had brief periods when we don’t feel very ambitious, but that’s not an energy that we want to linger in. We want to always find something to “light us up” and inspire us to do/have/be MORE.
So, I’m going through the exercises in the guidebook and enjoying it so far. I love how user-friendly this is, and the fact that it’s free is definitely a good thing! If you have a few friends that are interested in finding their life’s purposes or rekindling their passions, this booklet would be great for you all to download and complete together as a group. If you decide to download it, let me know how you enjoy it!
Bronze Butterfly 