Tag: divorce

life curation

Living Your Best Life: Law of Attraction Keys for a Smoother Divorce

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As part of living my best life, I want to continue exploring the things that I’ve used successfully to get certain “wins” in my life. While divorce was painful and life-changing, I had some tools that helped me significantly as I transitioned into divorcee life. I’m convinced that using these tools consistently has made the difference between feeling full of despair and being excited about what lies ahead.

peace

I heavily utilized law of attraction (LOA) techniques to assist me with transitioning to this phase of my life. Here are my top three techniques that I used, as well as some details on how I used them.

Affirmations: I woke up every day and affirmed what I wanted. Some days, my affirmation was as simple as “Every day is a great day”. On other days, when I had a little more pep, I might say something like, “I’m lucky, gorgeous and always attracting awesomeness!” The beauty of affirmations is that I got to repeat whatever felt good, or comforting, at the moment, and that did wonders for setting the tone for my day.

Scripting: When I had the energy, time and focus to put into thinking about what I wanted my ideal post-marriage life to look like, I would do a bit of scripting. Scripting is the process of writing your ideal life as if you are living it NOW. It takes the dream life from fantasy land and immerses you in the experience now (even if that experience is virtual). When I review “Lifestyle Design for a Champagne Life” by Cassie Parks, I’ll have a bit more detail about the process of scripting. Cassie also lists the details of how to script in this podcast episode..

Rituals: I found tremendous comfort from engaging rituals throughout my separation and divorce. When I say “ritual”, I’m not speaking of a religious practice: I’m talking about the routines and habits that gave me stability and relief. One thing that I did consistently is go to the gym and walk on the treadmill to clear my mind. I also used to frequently visit the nearby museums when I needed a mental break, and I enjoyed many afternoons soaking up nature in picturesque Haupt Garden. I consistently used these diversions to give me some peace when I had a lot of inner turmoil.

All of the LOA practices I engaged helped me to get relief from the stress of separation and divorce. For me, this was never about engaging in fantasy or throwing on a bunch of “positive thought” in an attempt to avoid the pain. I moved through the pain and, when it became overwhelming, I reached for what would help me to make it through. I hope that you are able to use some of these tools during some of life’s less-than-ideal challenges.

life curation

Living Your Best Life: Take Control of Your Financial Condition

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Happy Monday! Nothing like talking about money to get the week started LOL!

I previously mentioned how my divorce was the catalyst for my personal growth. Part of that growth journey included getting to know all aspects of myself all over again. I had to do some HARD work, mainly in the realm of facing my reality without letting that reality depress me.

I eased into this work by starting with the things that felt truly neutral: in my case, the most neutral things I could work on were my money and my career. I know that money is usually a charged topic when it comes to married couples,, but I handled our household finances, and I felt pretty competent when it came to budgeting. So, starting here seemed like a good idea.

April 25, 2025

I realized that, while I paid our bills on time and had automatic withdrawals for our retirement accounts, I really didn’t know much about our finances. And, now that I was handling my finances solo, I needed to get a grip on what I had already in place, and what I still needed to address.

Enter a financial binder.

A financial binder organizes your financial information, so that you have all of that data at your fingertips. You can make copies of it and provide it to trusted family members, put it in your safe (and your safe deposit box), or drop it off with your estate attorney (assuming that you have one, which you probably will, after completing the binder and realizing that an estate attorney is a wise investment). The binder is particularly useful when you’re trying to figure out the “gaps” in your financial life, be it a lack of certain advisors, under-tended accounts, or backup plans that need to be established.

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Take time to get organized (but don’t put your croissant directly on your desk!)

Financial binders are a great way to get your money organized and to give you some peace of mind. This is especially useful if you’re navigating a breakup and you need to know what areas of your financial life need to be addressed now that you’ve “uncoupled” (oh how I love that term). The best part about a binder is that you don’t have to address all of the gaps in one day: you can pace yourself, knowing that you’ve got time to get it done and, with determination and focus, you can get it all done well.

I’ve had a few versions of these, but the one available online for free through Utah State University is by and far my favorite (click on the link to download it). It’s clearly written, captures a lot of information, and has a great set of instructions on the first page, so you have some solid guidance for what you’ll need before you undertake this project.

As tax day creeps closer, make it a point to start getting clear on your financial condition, whether you’re navigating a divorce/breakup, happily coupled, or satisfyingly single. Having knowledge of where you stand financially is extremely empowering and can really help you to feel inspired to improve your condition, or relaxed about where you are currently.