Happy Writers Wednesday! I’m in the midst of editing, and I find myself constantly wanting a distraction.
YouTube, other books on my reading list, preparing elaborate multi-course meals, and even cleaning have become some fantastic distractions for me. I start with several hours of free time, then I underestimate exactly how quickly the time can get away from me.
Two or three hours later, and I’ve descended down the rabbit hole of Truly, Barcroft TV, and Hooked on the Look. And I’m still no closer to finishing up the book edits.
I think it’s almost an inevitable part of the process. The deeper you are in the editing process, the more easily distracted you become. I think it’s partially due to fear: if you actually finish editing, then you have no excuses for why your book isn’t published. And once your book is published, you open yourself up to scrutiny, which can be mortifying.
I understand it well: fear of being “seen” is real. I have absolutely suffered from it in the past. Sometimes I think I’ve overcome it . . . Then I start editing a new work and those feelings come rushing back to me.
Also, it could be a bit of imposter syndrome: I have, in the back of my mind, thoughts of being not good enough, not worthy of being published or having fans, and feeling unworthy of even of being supported by my loved ones. It’s so easy to see all of my shortcomings and automatically go to thoughts of being inferior and unworthy.
As I try to edit, all of these low-vibe thoughts come to mind. And it paralyzes me far more than I care to admit. But this blog is about transparency as regards the growth process, so here I am, admitting that while I’m in the thick of editing, I’m scared senseless.
Despite those feelings, I press on. Not because I want to overcome those emotions, but because I’ve committed to creating a product by a certain date, and I hate failure more than I despise the discomforting thoughts that have been running through my mind.
So I press on, staying the course while I’m in the thick of it. I’m looking forward to seeing you all on the other side.